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Back to Tracking

I’m back on Calorie King, tracking my food.  And it is NOT pretty.  Not at all.  On Monday I ate 2800 calories.  Seriously.  Seriously.  According to my nutritionist, I should be “allowed” 2600 calories (which seems insanely high to me), so the fact that I went ABOVE that is inconceivable to me.  Without really having all that much that is out of control…  Unbelievable.

I’ve done fairly well the past few days, but still really surprised at how much I’m eating.  And how different it has been from how I ate before I got pregnant.  It doesn’t FEEL all that much different, though.  It’s not like I feel like I’m allowed to eat all these things that are so yummy, and fatty, and high in calories.  I still have the guilt.  But I still give in to it.  And that’s got to stop — not a diet.  I’m not trying to LOSE weight (of course), but I really can’t keep eating the same way that I have been.

All that said, we leave tomorrow for Maui.  I’m not going to go crazy with calorie counting there, but I’m also going to make sure that I don’t just throw all caution to the wind and inhale everything that I see.  It really is a good thing that I can’t have a Mai Tai!  But, I’m a sucker for ‘mocktails’, and will need to reign that in a bit…

You won’t be surprised…

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But I’ve gained more than the 15 pounds that my doctors recommended that I gain with this pregnancy.  Already.  As of this morning, I’m up 19 pounds.  19!  And I’ve still got 17.5 weeks to go.  Including 2-3 vacations/weekends away, the hubby’s birthday, and Thanksgiving.  This is not a good thing, my friends.

Not that it’s all that surprising to me, either.  Seriously?  Gaining only 15 pounds with a pregnancy?  That’s cray-cray.  I’d like to say that I’ve been eating really well.  And I can tell you that I had a salad for lunch yesterday.  But then I might conveniently leave out the part where I didn’t finish it (there was too much dressing), and instead went back for a second biscuit. Ahem, a second cheese biscuit.

Oh, and then there were the bananas that I bought to add into protein pancakes or to top English muffins with peanut butter.  Instead, they sat too long, and I HAD to make some banana chocolate chip bread.  And then I HAD to proceed to eat 2 slices per day this week.  Luckily the hubby’s been eating more than that, and it’s finally gone.

I did not expect this to be this hard, folks.  I’m really not sure why, though.  I mean, I have tried my entire life.  ENTIRE LIFE! to lose weight, and now I’m just piling the pounds on like it’s my job.  19 pounds in 22.5 weeks isn’t ALL that terrible, and honestly, I really only look like I’ve gained some weight in the belly (it’s *thank goodness* not distributed itself to my face or upper arms — yet).  But knowing that I still have 17.5 weeks to go, and this kiddo is just going to grow & grow & grow, is terrifying.

I cried this morning, exclaiming that if I couldn’t control my need for ice cream, how could I possibly be a good mother.  I even said that I wished she was going to be a boy, because then he wouldn’t really worry about his weight like I do.  Friends, I am so scared that I am going to screw this little, innocent, perfect baby up.

Back to basics, my friends.  No, not a diet.  But tracking what I eat.  Doing my cardio.  Making good choices.  Setting myself up for success.

It’s a…

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… bundle of Sugar & Spice & Everything nice!  Because that’s what little GIRLS are made of!

We had our Week 19 ultrasound this morning (yes, I was indeed very delayed in spilling the beans) and we have confirmation of a GIRL!  My mom’s already pointed out that she’ll be a daddy’s girl her whole life like me.  (Which kind of bums me out, because I really hate the way that I used to roll my eyes at my mom & say, “Whatever, MOM!”.  That will never happen with MY baby girl, will it?!?)

As of this morning I was 213.6.  I started at 202, so I’m up 11.6 total.  Which is decent (but they really only want me to gain a total of 15 pounds — which I think is insane).  Except I lost weight initially, and I recently had a fairly large jump.  We just had our kitchen redone, so 7 weeks of eating out will kind of kill the meal plan.  Add a 1.5 week road trip in there, and it’s disastrous.  But, back on the wagon.  The kitchen will officially be done this weekend, and we are getting our shipment of Hello Harvest veggies & fruits today (SO excited!), so I can start cooking again.

Thinking of making a turkey on Sunday.  Just because I can!  Ha!

Anyway, the doc isn’t super excited about my recent weight gain, but I assured him that I was getting it in check.  Which I will!  Anything to keep this babe healthy!

It’s been a while…

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So let’s have a chat.  Just you and me.

I’ve been keeping something from you.  A secret.  A secret that I’m finally ready to share on the interwebs.

We’re having a baby.  A real, live, baby! 

Yes, it’s true.  And I didn’t mean to keep it from you for this long.  Truly I didn’t.  It’s just gotten away from me to tell you.  But here I am.

And it’s so, so awesome.  And so, so exciting.  And so, so scary.

Yet Another Doctor…

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…has told me that I need to watch my weight.  1500 to 1700 calories per day.  Eat every 3 hours; meal –> snack –> meal –> snack –> meal –> snack.  Snacks can’t be carbs; recommended that they be dairy (which is so frustrating, because everyone else tells me to lay off the dairy).  Can’t they just all learn about this stuff from the same book and get on board? Ugh.

I have been in a bit of a carb-induced coma recently.  This morning is no different (I did have a bagel this morning as a final send-off — combined that with a blackberry / greek yogurt / cranberry juice smoothie [which needed a lot of sweetening with some Agave nectar]).

Working on getting myself back on track, back to tracking my food, back to exercising 5 of 7 days.  I really need to start “booking” the exercise on my calendar, including swimming.  As much as I hate the hubby’s new schedule (1 pm to midnight), it would allow me to go to swimming from 7 to 8 PM…

Ugh.  Will I ever just “learn” not to let myself unlearn everything that I’ve done?  Will I ever just figure out how to eat like a “normal” person (or what my normal should look like)?

What I’m Up to…

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Haven’t blogged in a while — I just don’t feel like I have all that much going on that would be interesting…  Sorry.

I haven’t been working out this week — been feeling a bit off, and not wanting to push it. Tonight I was supposed to have a facial & a massage, but my chiropractor cancelled the massage. Which is really too bad because I’ve got some crazy muscle thing going on in my right leg. If I’m not working out, how could I hurt it? Did I strain it in my sleep?!? Still excited about the facial though; I NEED my brows waxed!  I’m seriously like a Chubaka over here. 

The rest of the night I’ll be baking cookies and cupcakes for a baby shower that I’m throwing on Saturday afternoon. Should be a lot of fun, but I’d just like to get this ticked off the list. Baking today, frosting tomorrow. Also need to pick up the last part of the gift, buy the groceries, and pull together some of the serving dishes that I’m taking to the friend’s house who was gracious enough to offer her beautiful home! I absolutely love entertaining, and really wanted to do this at our house.  BUT, we’re supposed to be in the middle of a kitchen renovation.  Unfortuantely, that reno hasn’t started (just took measurements and designed the kitchen cabinets on Monday, so I don’t even really know when we’re actually starting…).

Oh! And I got all crafty last night and made some fabric bunting for a shower decoration that I hope they’ll be able to use to decorate the nursery too. Yay for actually doing something that I found on Pinterest!

Other baby shower food will include a fruit salad, a veggie platter (with dips served in hollowed out bell peppers — fancy! — and some hot appetizers courtesy of Trader Joe’s. The cookies will be “baby stuff” shaped, and I’ll package those as favors. The cupcakes are the cake — I’m planning on chocolate with green and blue frosting (the “theme” colors are green, brown & blue). But, we’ll see… May end up with white frosting & sprinkles… We’re also having a champagne/sparkling cider “bar” with pureed mango and strawberries as mix-ins, as well as punch, and mint/lemon/cucumber water.  Again, most of this (except the fruit salad, cupcakes, cookies, and TJ’s apps are ideas courtesy of Pinterest).  Seriously, I’m addicted.

Will take a bunch of decor pictures on Saturday so you can see what it all looks like when it comes together.  I’m a bit nervous for it, actually.  There are 3 of us throwing the shower — and I’m probably the one most into the design element.  However, since it’s at the other lady’s house, we’re using her dishes, etc. (trying to be green & avoid paper plates & plastic forks as much as possible).  The only issue is that they’re all really fancy crystal, etc., and I was really hoping that it would be a bit more modern.  She also has a bunch of decorations that she bought for other baby showers, and wants to use — and they don’t really go with the modern jungle theme that I’d set about using (before she volunteered to help).  I know.  I KNOW!  I need to get over this.  It’s crazy.  She’s 0pening her home, and of course we’d use the crystal punch bowl instead of me bringing mine, or me bringing my plain white clean-lined plates and serving trays.  That’d be insane.  INSANE.  I get it.  But it’s not going to be as cohesive as I’d like.  Of course, the momma-to-be won’t even notice, or care at all, and that’s what really matters, right?!?  :)

Weight is holding steady at 197/198.  I’m OK with that.  I’m eating well, working out regularly (except for this week), and I’m pretty sure that I look good!  :)  I ran into my nutritionist at the cafeteria a few days ago, and even she mentioned that I was looking “svelte”.  As long as I can keep my fingers out of the cupcake batter tonight, that should continue!

4 years!

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I can’t believe that it’s been 4 years since I woke up a single woman.  4 years since I got my hair done (and cried when I saw it).  4 years since I first saw my bouquet of pink roses & peonies and wished that I could have a bouquet JUST.LIKE.THAT.ONE. every day of my life.  4 years since I walked down the aisle with my veil covering my face, getting stuck on my eyelash extensions.  4 years since I held the hands of my love at the altar and professed that I would love him.  Forever and always.  4 years since we wandered through the vineyards, awkwardly talking about our amazing families and friends, while being followed by an even more awkward photographer.  4 years since we danced to Louis Armstrong’s “A Kiss to Build a Dream On”.  4 years since my buddy drank all the tequila at the wedding and really made it a party.  4 years since we passed under the sparklers held up by our guests, toasting our special day.  Happiest of Anniversaries to my love.

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