What does it mean?

Have you seen the “Double Rainbow” guy on youtube? Yosemitebear Mountain Giant Double Rainbow 1-8-10. Check it out. Every time someone says “What does it mean?” in any context, I start giggling like a 14-year old girl…

Lately, though, I haven’t been giggling quite as much. A woman in my office died on Monday night. At 5:15 PM she left (she shares an office with a good friend), by 5:30 PM she had lost control of her van and had died. She was on her way to pick up her 2 kids from day care. Tuesday morning she didn’t call into an 8 AM meeting, so her associate started surfing the web – and ended up on our local newspaper, where she saw the headline. This is how the team found out — but they weren’t even sure that it was the “right” person — maybe it was someone else with the same name. There is so much that her 2 children will miss, with her being gone. Her husband did not have her to hold that night in bed. Just the spot where she once lie. And I cannot fathom how this happens. I just have too many questions – and I hardly knew this woman.

I saw “Up” a few weeks ago, and cried, inconsolably, throughout the whole movie. My husband was so good to me, wiping my tears, smoothing my mussed hair. But I was just so SAD! How could 2 people live their whole lives with 1 dream, and not have ever been able to acheive that SMALL dream? How could a kid, who loved his dad so much, have a dad who was never there? How could that crappy explorer guy try to capture that beautiful bird, all the while trying to burn down the guy’s house? I cried for the memories in that house, and the memories that the couple never made together at the falls. Then I made my hubby PROMISE that we’d always do the things that we wanted to do. We’d make a plan, and move forward with it. And if something happened to one of us, we’d still go. He’d still go to South Africa if something happened to me. He’d still climb Machu Pichu (my next goal), if I wasn’t able.

I have so many things on my list that I want to do — even in the next year — let alone before my time is up. But what if the “big man in the sky” has other plans for me — maybe I need to speed up those plans. But what I do know, is that I can’t do stuff half a$$ed anymore. It’s now or never.