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I’m having a bit of a crisis…

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There’s a happy hour. That I want to go to. It starts in 10 minutes. I have:

  • Already worked out for 30 minutes / 380 calories this morning
  • Eaten well for breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack
  • I’m well on my way with water today (although I did by 2 cups of coffee today, including a latte [which I just remembered that I haven’t logged])

I scheduled that I would go swimming at lunch today as a 2-a-day workout. But, my breakfast was fairly close to swim time, and that makes “Fast Fridays” and flip turns difficult. So I planned to go at 6 PM. But now it’s 4:20, and I want to go to happy hour. I *could* go to happy hour, then leave and go swimming. I don’t need to drink, and will not likely want to eat. But there’s more to this story…

Last night we had a team meeting for the triathlon/swimming club. Afterwards, we were all supposed to order our new tri kits (outfits to wear during our triathlons). They’re not flattering. At all. On anyone. But they didn’t even have a women’s XL to try on. So I looked at the men’s L. Honestly – it looked like a child’s. I then tried on the men’s XL. OMGoodness. Hideous. Scary. Gross.

As I was trying to talk to the coach about what to do (ie, can’t I just wear last year’s, cause even if it doesn’t look good on my big belly, at least I’m not spending another $70 to $90 on something that I want to cry when I put it on), and this girl mentioned that the women’s L was way too small on her. I turned to look at her — and seriously, she was a size 6 or less. SERIOUSLY. Guys were also saying that they’d normally get a M, but they were ordering XLs. So I really shouldn’t have felt as badly as I did / do. Because I know that the sizing on these things is wrong, and everyone’s struggling. Except – the issue is that they’re not super self-conscious. And I am. And I can’t even fit into the biggest men’s size available.

Basically was holding back tears as I finally told the coach, “No, don’t ask about ordering me a men’s XXL — I’m just going to wear last year’s kit” and left. I realize that in the past this would either make me do one of 2 things:

  1. Go eat. A lot. Of WHATEVER I wanted.
  2. Go sulk. And starve. And try to make it better by withholding.

I haven’t done either, but I’m seriously planning on skipping swim because I don’t want to deal with the coach. So, I’m going to go to the happy hour, and I’ll judge there what I want to do. If I want to head to swim, I will. If I don’t, I won’t, and I won’t beat myself up over it. So there.


About TresLaLa

I'm really just a thin girl with a lot of extra padding...

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