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I’m a planner. For example, I currently have 2 to-do lists going: 1 for personal stuff, and one for work. My personal one has 6 categories (Organize, Fix, Errands, Sell, Crafts, and Finance) and each category has between 4 and 12 items). My work one is in-progress, but there are 2 categories, each with 2 items. (I really do have a LOT more work to do… I just haven’t made my list yet).

The problem is that I’m a bit chaotic with my planning. I have things on my personal list that I’m not responsible for — my hubby is (eg, Clean the pool) — but for some reason it’s on my list. That and the fact that my work one is not long enough for everything that I’m supposed to be doing.

But really, the issue is that I have really good intentions. I have a calendar in my office of what type of workout I’m doing each day, and at the end of every month what I *should* weigh. Mind you, I don’t follow this. I like writing it down and committing to it, I just don’t really do it. So, I suppose that’s not really committing, is it?

Case-in-point: I KNOW that I do better when I organize my meals and plan them out ahead of time. I know this. It is a fact. However, on Sunday, which is my normal “weekly meal plan day”, I didn’t plan. So now, I’m going to the cafeteria and getting a salad (which is a fine choice, if I wanted to pay $8) and a cup of soup (which was a fine choice, given that it was a vegetarian lentil soup, except it was gross).

So why don’t I do this? Why don’t I organize myself to successfully lose weight? When I don’t like how I look and I don’t like how being overweight makes me feel, and I don’t like the guilt when I make a poor decision or I’m not able to get in all the nutrients my body needs? What am I missing? Am I afraid that I won’t like it when I’m thin? I have been before – and I loved it. Am I afraid that it’ll be too hard? Yes. Am I afraid that I will never get there? Yes. But I’m not sure that’s what’s holding me back from making the right choices to fuel my body, including planning. Hmmm.


About TresLaLa

I'm really just a thin girl with a lot of extra padding...

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