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Category Archives: Poor Choices

Holy Cupcake, Batman!

Until recently (umm, Sunday), I don’t recall ever making a baked good from scratch.  And then I did.  And those Pumpkin Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting were good, my friends.

But they’re not this good:

Yikes.

This is for 1 cupcake – I took Jenna’s recipe, doubled it and entered it into Calorie King, with 18 servings.  I then took her recipe for the frosting, doubled it, and entered it in with 24 servings (’cause there was a lot left once we finished frosting those cakes).  And even though I’ve counted my little calories for years now, and I knew as I was putting in the butter and the oil, and the cream cheese, that there were an awful lot of calories in those things, for some reason because I was using fresh ingredients, wholesome ingredients (whole wheat flour!), that it would somehow zero out, and I’d be left with something other than a calorie bomb.

But they are a calorie bomb, my friends.

I won’t make that mistake again!  From now on:

Calorie King first, stand mixer second.

Luckily, the hubby took the rest into work today, so I won’t have any temptations this evening.  Of course, that’s after he had 1 for Breakfast dessert, 1 for Lunch dessert, and a 3rd for Dinner dessert yesterday.  Yeah, there might be 2 sweet-tooths in the house!

A New Day – A New Tactic

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So, here’s the deal…  I’m not losing weight.  And it’s all my fault.  There.  I said it.

I’m having too many sweets.  Too much pizza.  Too many drinks.  Too. Much. Of. Everything.

And it’s going to change.  Now.


I need to be accountable to someone.  I hoped that being accountable to myself would be enough – but apparently I’m not enough.  (Note: Something to talk to the therapist about.)  So, I’m accountable to YOU.  And YOU should hold me accountable.  Question what I’m eating.  Question why I’ve eaten any cheats.  Help me.  Help me to identify what I can skip, how I can substitute, and what I can do to make this a life-long journey that’s worth it.

Starting now.  OK, I’ll start…


Breakfast:

  • 1 cup coffee (no sweetener or milk) –> Switch to tea.  Coffee’s too bitter.
  • 2 eggs, over easy –> Switch to egg white scramble with bunches of veggies.  
  • 2 slices sourdough toast with butter –> Skip it.  Unnecessary with a huge egg white scramble.  
This is me.  Starting over.

Re-evaluating

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I went off the deep end on Saturday, and need to figure out why.

As you may, or may not, know, the hubby and I are trying to start a family. Well, err, not trying so much, as not stopping it. (Can I tell you a secret? We’re *trying*, but I hate that term, so I’ll never use it. I also don’t like the pressure that it puts on me & the hubby.) 


Using the March of Dimes fertility calculator, we’ve figured out the best time to have some *fun* in order to potentially make a TinyLaLa. As such, I tend to eat really well and nix the alcohol around the time of ovulation and through until I get my TOM, then I lash out.

Saturday was a lash out. It was the last weekend before I needed to start being good, for *hopefully* the next 9+ months of my foreseeable future. But why, oh why, does that have to mean a martini, a beer, wine (2 glasses), plus fries, a club sandwich, appetizers, and a cupcake? Clearly, I’m having a hard time setting personal boundaries.

This lifestyle change hasn’t changed me all that much. Oh wait, I added some avocado to that sando for some “good fat”. Ridiculous.

Back on the wagon now, but really worked up over why I did that. The day before I committed in blog form to the weight loss in the form of the Triathlon Weight Loss Challenge. And what did I get from this lash out?

  1. A hangover
  2. 3+ pounds
  3. Feelings of inadequacy

So what am I to do about this? It’s high time that I figure out ways to make myself happy and comfortable that do not include food or alcohol. Ways to love myself without showing self-hate. Ways to prove that I am worth giving up some little things to get something that I really want — to be trim & fit.

And I am worth it.

New(est) Motivation…

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I just realized that I put my favorite skinny jeans in the drier. D’oh!

Debacle of a Weekend

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So, this weekend was quite a food debacle. One after another. That’s been the theme for the past few weeks, though. I really, REALLY, need to get on track! It’s only 12 days until Halloween — and I’ve got a nurse’s costume in the closet that is calling my name! This weekend was the long simulation at school — which led to overeating, over drinking (to de-stress after each day), and a lack of exercise. Further, on Sunday morning I had to be at UCLA for a sorority advisor’s meeting… which led to eating pastries from Le Pain Quotidien…

I’ve also been shopping WAY too much. 8 pair of shoes in the past week. Almost a whole new wardrobe. I’m “in the money” after the hubby has paid me back some money that I needed to put into our joint account a few months ago. So, I’m treating myself. Too well. This shenanigans has GOT to stop (after I head to The Container Store for another one of these: http://www.containerstore.com/shop/closet/accessoryStorage/jewelry?productId=10025750&green=10655670466). I have been looking for a good way to store my jewelery for quite some time. Found these this weekend, and am in LOVE! I got this one, and the 80-pocket one (both in Canvas), filled them up, and realized that I have more necklaces than this holds… (And it’s 2 sided, so that’s a lot of necklaces). But I LOVE how I can see them all at the same time! So simple, but I’ve been untangling necklaces for YEARS! Anyway, once that’s done, no more!

Plan for this week:
* Curb this shopping habit
* Bring breakfasts & lunches. So, I need to package up the salmon my hubby was supposed to make today and hardboil my eggs in the morning (I’m in class right now…)
* Therapist tomorrow…
* Gym every day for the rest of the week: Tuesday – Cardio (PM); Wednesday: Swimming (Noon) & Trainer (PM); Thursday: Trainer (AM) & Running club (PM); Friday: Swimming (Noon); Saturday: Swimming (AM) & Cycling (if it’s not raining – AM); Sunday: Swimming & Running (AM)

Need to also:
* Read “Freedom” for sorority alumnae book club meeting on Sunday
* Read & research case for Strategic Management class on Dell – for presentation next Monday night (team meeting on Sunday afternoon)
* Book trip to Vegas for hubby’s birthday & Halloween

What a weekend!

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My eating was TERRIBLE! And my workouts were non-existent!

It all started on Thursday. I worked out at lunch (swim practice) because I was having Girls’ Night In at my house. I made Raspberry Mojitos and we did a cupcake tasting. 6 cupcakes, 5 girls. Yum. Switched to Pelligrino at some point (after 2 mojitos, I believe). After the hubby came home (around 9:15 or so), the ladies headed out. I then busted out the computer to work on a presentation for a big meeting that occurred today, but the slides were due on Friday. Computer crashed a gazillion times, and I finally called it quits at 12:15 AM or so.

Woke up at 5 AM on Friday, to be at work by 6 AM. Worked for an hour, then had a teleconference with our travel agent for the Africa trip. It was so great — I cannot wait to go over her proposal in depth. At 8 AM, the run-though for today’s meeting started. Worked on that from 8 AM until 10:30 or so, then moved to a different room with my boss and one of the managers who reports to me. Worked more until about 1:30, when I realized I was STARVING. Grabbed a portabello mushroom wrap at the cafeteria. That afternoon we had a birthday shindig. Someone brought in some bars that have coconut :barf: and a twix Cheesecake (which I don’t like either), and a fruit tart. I had a small slice of the tart, and scraped off most of the gooey custart. So, I ate crust and fresh fruit. Not too bad. But then, since I was up so early, I had no desire to work out. Went home, sat on the couch, then hubby & I went to dinner with some friends. A few beers and grass-fed tenderloin medallions. Plus fries, but not a whole order. Super good.

The next morning we were planning on going cycling at 7 AM — woke up at 8:30 and hubby was crawling back into bed. We cuddled (slept) until 8:55 when he woke up again to go down & watch his football game. I kept gearing myself up to go cycling alone… next thing I knew, it was 10:30! Made breakfast, then got ready to pick up some friends for the Beer, Art & Music Festival in Santa Monica. No workout for me!

The fest was so much fun! Some of the art was just plain bad, but I really liked the work of one of the artists. The beers were actually really good flavors, and they had a food truck that sold Grass-fed beef burgers and vegan burgers. So we got 1 of each and split it. I liked the vegan burger best! After the fest, headed to Main Street to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Matt and I shared spring rolls (non-fried) and a margherita pizza. I was driving, so I was off beer, and on to iced tea.

Sunday, I woke up, read the paper and a few magazines, then headed to the mall, on a mission for a new outfit for today’s presentation. Didn’t really find anything that suited me. Clothes fit me oddly — I’m between sizes (which is a good thing, so I wasn’t upset or anything) — but I’m finding it difficult to shop because I used to know exactly where to go in Nordstrom’s or Macy’s — the Women’s section. But now, I have the whole freaking store, and I’m kind of lost! Where are is the mid-priced stuff? All I could find was CRAZY expensive ($180 for a shirt!). Boo! I did get a cute pair of shoes — but I already own the style. Just got the same ones in Red. :)

After striking out at clothes shopping, I headed out for food shopping. Went to Sprouts, Whole Foods & Trader Joe’s. I’m having difficulty with this natural food shopping — because I feel like I need to buy my meat at Whole Foods, but their other stuff is so expensive, and Trader Joe’s doesn’t have the variety of Sprouts. Aaarugh. I don’t want to go to 3 stores just to grocery shop! :$

Dinner last night was Queso dip & chips. Seriously. :evil: Ridiculous. It shows in my food diary too. TJs was sampling Vegetarian Chili mixed with Jalapeno flavored pub cheese. Really good, and would be OK at a party, but Matt & I ate the whole thing. In my defense, I indicated that it was for our beer tasting on Friday night, but he really wanted it. So I made it, but then only put a little in a bowl… He went back & filled up the bowl! Could have killed him — but I ate instead. :bang: :bang:

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